Lessons from an Angry Yogi: Staying Present

Be present. Practice mindfulness. We have all probably heard many quotes or readings about it. But very few truly understand the art of "being present" in this very moment. I struggle with it every single moment of every day, and most of the time, I am pretty shitty at it. Being a yoga instructor, I speak to this idea a lot. Not because I am an expert, but because we all need reminders (myself included). Most faiths agree that the present moment is the only moment where life exists. In a Google search for quotes about being present, the array of individuals quoted proves this point. There are quotes from the Bible and Buddhists, among quotes from Buddah, famous actors, artists, and philosophers. The people famously quoted for speaking to the present moment runs the gamut. People "get it," or they at least get the idea... But let's be honest here, we all struggle to stay present.

When I get pissed at my husband because he turned the air conditioner off, I'm not being present. When I find myself annoyed at the woman who clearly cut the line at TJ Maxx, I'm not being present. The driver riding your ass, flashing his high beams and flipping you the middle finger, he's lost his perspective. Lately, I have been struggling with body image issues. This is mostly because my new CrossFit/yoga body that has been blessed with a few extra pounds due to some medical issues (and my newly developed love affair with ice cream on the weekends) doesn't fit into any of my clothes. I'm most comfortable in yoga pants, flow-y tops and some funky jewelry. But the other day, I really wasn't having it... In a futile attempt to get ready with a false hope that "maybe TODAY these shorts will fit like they did last year," I ended up sweaty amidst a pile of clothes, and really freaking pissed off. I finally let out a blood-curdling scream from the depths of my gut and punched a stack of hangers in the closet. I felt better, but I sure as hell wasn't present.

When my husband turns the air conditioner off and I get pissed, when I react, it's because I am worried about how hot the house will get in the future. When I get mad at the woman at TJ Maxx who cut in line, I am assuming that I have somewhere else to be and I need to be there much faster than she does. That angry driver who is screaming and punching his steering wheel has lost the perspective that where he is right now is the only place there is to be. And yesterday... When I screamed bloody murder into my closet full of clothes that don't fit, I was not accepting my body for what it is right now. This being present shit, well, it's really hard. As humans so engrosed in technology, social media, the status quo, FOMO (fear of missing out for those who don't know the abbreviation). It's so easy to get lost and stray from this moment.

I am a yoga instructor. I read about, talk about, and share thoughts on being mindful in and of the moment. I get to learn techniques for staying present, and warning screams... I mean signs when I am not. Being present isn't just for Buddhists or yogis, being present is for everyone! Anxiety, depression, and short-fused tempers run rampant in our lives today.

If you are depressed you are living in the past. If you are anxious you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present. -Lao Tzu

Chances are that you know someone or you are someone who suffers from being detatched from the moment. I am not an expert on being present by any means. I am a work in progress like everyone else. But there are some things I have learned that help me to find presence in the worst moments:

Count your breaths. Take a deep breath. Do something with your breath: Chances are that when you're not being present your breath is all over the place, choppy and erratic. Start thinking about your breath. Count "Inhale...1. Exhale...2." and continue in that pattern until you feel calm. Another technique, simply bring your thoughts to your breath. As you inhale, let that voice in your head say, "I am inhaling... I am exhaling." Or make yourself breath deeper, audible and more deliberate (this is also how I quit smoking... but that's for another post).

Bring your thoughts to what you're doing in that exact moment: A good, but sometimes silly, way to get present is to mentally walk yourself through your tasks. Kind of like narrating your life in your head. "I am walking out the door. I feel the sunshine on my face. I am looking at the sky. I am smiling."

Slow down: Move with direct intention. One morning when I was rushing around, frantic and panicked, I didn't think I could handle one more thing. I then walked out of the grocery store on the opposite side of the parking lot from my car. I took a deep breath in like I was going to let out one of those blood-curdling screams, but instead, I channeled a good friend who always walks slow. In fact, he pretty much does everything slowly. Saying, "If it needs to get done, it will." I forced myself to walk as slowly as I possibly could toward my car. No speed walking, no frantic arm swinging, just slow and steady. The pace brought me a feeling of calm. The rest of the day changed after that, all because I simply slowed down.

Put down the cell phone: Seriously, cell phones, social media, technology dependency, the bright light and unnecessary brain stimulation is making us more angry and less present as a species. Facebook fucking stresses me out. FOMO (once again, fear of missing out) is a serious problem. This problem is made much worse by people's fallacies lived out on Facebook. How can you be present while you're scrolling a reel full of edited versions of people's lives?

Find something to be grateful for: A few years ago-- I was doing this thing. I was constantly getting angry sitting in traffic, at the assholes on the road (who had clearly lost perspective). In those moments, I would try to find three things to be grateful for. Any three things, and be specific to your life. Sometimes it helps you to regain some perspective yourself (or just makes you feel better, which can bring you back to the present moment too).

Disclaimer: there have also been moments I just put my hands in prayer at heart venter and screamed "NAMASTE ASSHOLE!" okay...I know that's not very yogi).

UNPLUG: "Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes. Including you"-Anne Lamott. Turn off your cell phone. Go outside, look up at the sky. Go to a yoga class (most will make you turn off your phone and leave it with your belongings somewhere away from your yoga mat!). Give your brain a break once in a while. I recently spent two days in the mountains at a cabin in the middle of nowhere, no cell service, no TVs, no technology. It feels so good to disconnect once in a while and really get some good old fashioned human interaction. What do you do when your computer or cell phone start acting up? Shut it down for a few minutes and turn it back on again. Reboot. You can do the same with yourself.

Meditate: This is different for everyone. I think any kind of activity that can flow from your fingertips making time stop, stand still, or fly by is a form of meditation. Maybe it's painting, writing, practicing yoga, riding bicycles, gardening, whatever it is that lights up your soul and can send you to that place where time doesn't exist. Plus, there's always guided meditation, here's a place technology can be awesome. There are endless resources at your fingertips (there's an app for that).

None of these things hold the key to finding presence in life (but one of them could for you, who knows). They are just small acts that have taught me, over time, to find some perspective. The fast-paced world we live in today doesn't give us much space in our minds, or time for presence. Doesn't that sound ass-backwards? The only time is now. Life is right now. We are so busy as a society thinking that "living life to the fullest" is synonymous with a "FULL schedule." We are human beings not human doings. Life is stressful and stress is good and necessary for the human existence. But stress is only healthy if you have the right balance of peace. Take a few minutes a day for yourself to find a little space in yuor head, space in your heart and space in your life. Practice presence, it's something we will always be working for (that's why it's called practice).

Namaste, bitches! Shine Bright.

Kori (www.wholefityogi.weebly.com)

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