Make a Connection

Kori
Aug 15, 2015
5 min read

Why don’t we connect with other humans as much as we used to as a species? We are so engrossed in our phones and our own lives...that we rarely make actual face-to-face...eye-to-eye connections with other human souls. Technology is scary. I like to allow myself to remain ‘blissfully ignorant’ to most of the upgrades and gadgets and newest technological connections to the world. I’m almost always at least one or two iOS upgrade behind.

Don’t get me wrong, I love to stay connected with friends via Facebook and Instagram. I love the ability to share my blogs, recipes and journey with the potential to inspire exponentially. But, I despise it at the same time. How many of your conversations these days begin with the phrase “Did you see my post?” or “Have you seen that thing going around the internet?” And every time someone says that to me (or I say it to someone) a part of me dies a little inside. Facebook has evolved so much since that fateful day my best friend from college created my account for me.

What happened to the days where you had to actually see someone to share big news? Or at least pick up the phone and dial? Or ::GASP:: wait until you saw them? With so much instant gratification associated with technology (text messages, immediate ‘likes’ and ‘comments’ on Facebook posts) it’s so easy to get caught up in the glamour of how quickly we can get our stories, humor, pictures and lives spread across the internet and technology. It creates a distorted sense of existence that cannot hold a candle to real human connection. Can you recall the last time you saved some news or a story to tell someone in the flesh? To truly SEE the joy in their human face (rather than the gajillion emoji options there are these days).

I am guilty as the next guy for using social media to fill the empty time. Mindlessly scrolling, half reading/half not caring what you post about. But, I truly concern for our younger generations. Especially after something I saw and heard this past weekend. I realized - that a lot of kids these days don’t know a world where social media doesn't exist. The instant ‘gratification’ and measuring worth by ‘likes’ and ‘followers’ is all they know. They don’t know the world of playing outside being your only option, waiting for the dinner whistle from dad and catching lightening bugs. I don’t have children...but I see it everywhere I go.

My husband and I were at the beach this past weekend. I was so excited to shut down for a few days. To be on the ‘beach life’ schedule of no schedule at all. To lay in the sand, listen to the waves, read books and not really think about deadlines or social media or any other adult things. It was marvelous. Yes, I perused social media in some of the down time...but I tried to spend my time near the water just reading and letting the sound of the waves penetrate my soul. And then, something happened that stopped me. I have a fascination with other humans. I love to people watch...and quite often get lost in it. Some would call it ‘staring’...I call it ‘observing’. But there have been times my husband has had to break me of my ‘observing’ spells because it was pretty obvious.

There was a small group of youngsters (I’d say...maybe in the 18-20 age range) Wait, when did that become a youngster? So, they gathered near our blanket while we were out playing in the water…(and by playing, I mean...I was squealing and shrieking about what was touching my feet...and my husband was hysterical). Back to the youngsters. When I got back to my blanket, first, I noticed the bathing suits. These ‘barely there’ bottoms (not much more than a thong) and ass cheeks for days. But, hey, they are young, tight and still have that youthful skin...more power to them. It was a cloudy beach day, and they set up their chairs&blankets while continuing their light chatter. And one girl, adorned in a super cute fedora hat laid herself out on her towel. She immediately handed her phone to her by-standing friend and began to set up her perfect pose. Laying on her stomach, head leaning perfectly against both hands, making sure hair was in the perfect position. I kid you not...I watched as she took photo after photo and examined each one and set herself up in the same exact pose again, re-taking photo after photo. She made sure to ask her fellow beach go-ers to move out of the background. At one point I noticed slight annoyance in the photographer’s face. These shenanigans went on for about ten minutes.

I felt like I was watching a car crash...but prettier. A performance. I was fascinated. Hey, I am guilty as many yoga/asana obsessed yogis to take the opportune moment to put myself into a beautiful pose with a beautiful background. I will wholeheartedly admit that. But this girl...I felt so sad watching her. Not sad for her...she was beautiful. She enjoyed taking those photos. But sad for what she was missing around her. Before she even noticed the sand, the ocean, the WORLD...she was concerned with photographs. One photograph. For countless ‘likes’. For a social media world that isn’t even real.

I am thirty-two years old. As cliche as it is...I can now understand how generations before us saw our habits and ways of entertaining ourselves. I just can’t imagine the world that the younger generations live in. They don’t know a world without technology. It can sometimes create a world of anxiety within me. All of it makes my mind race...and sometimes make me lose sight of having gratitude for what I have in my life. What could it possibly be doing to them? How distorted their view of the world could truly be. My husband and I had a lovely chat with a woman in the line at the grocery store yesterday. We talked about food, nutrition, and the things in our carts. And the conversation continued after we’d both checked out, past the check-out line. We made a connection with a complete stranger...face-to-face. And as we were walking away, I realized that stuff like that doesn’t happen much anymore. Because of this technology that gives us so much information at our fingertips...but so little ability to truly connect to another human being.

These views are generalized. These views are from what I see in my day-to-day life. I understand not all children and younger generations are addicted to technology and social media. But, the number of people who are is frightening. I’m guilty of it myself at times. But I am truly learning to reconnect with the physical world around me...to my spirituality, to other humans...to other souls.

To the young ones...it’s fine to play on Facebook, Instagram, SnapChat or whatever your social media of choice is...but do yourselves a favor. Go outside once in awhile. Shut down the phones and go look at the sky. Watch people walking by. Strike up a conversation with the lady behind you in the grocery store check-out line. Unplug. Take a picture with your memory. Don’t miss the physical world that is whirling by you. Before you know it...the skin will start to wrinkle...little things will change...you won’t recognize the physical person in the photograph. Make a (non-technological) connection...a ‘selfie’ does not capture your true ‘self’. Your soul is always bright. Allow someone to get to know your soul...which doesn’t change, doesn’t get old...doesn’t fade. Human connection will always trump virtual connection.