Be You: Perfection isn't Reality

Food, body image, muscles, fuel, diets, workouts, quick fixes, SHAKES!! I feel between social media, TV commercials, and the media in general we are constantly bombarded with the latest diet fads, healthy eating trends, meal replacement shakes and exercise programs. I have fallen guilty to following them and bashing them alike. I have done a lot of famous DVD exercise programs, dabble in running, yoga (duh), and lately - CrossFit. I have made a lot of changes to the way that I eat over the past few years, some may even say I am obsessed with fitness & nutrition.

Here’s something I am learning that I will share with you; There is NO destination here. I know people (myself included) who have fallen victim to this idea of physical perfection. It plagues the mind of many men & women. We think there is a standard, a perfect specimen to model after. The best part about being human, is being unique. There is no model for perfection...because perfection isn’t a reality.

Yes, there are people who have a rockin' set of abs. I believe there are two reasons for those people’s ‘perfection’.

One. They’s genetically blessed. Some people (my husband included) only have to run/workout/walk a little bit here and there, can eat whatever they want, and still have defined abdominal muscles. It’s okay to secretly want to punch them (in the ‘gut’).

Two. They work really really hard. And it’s not just crunches. Despite what you see on the interwebs...there is no ‘magic move’ that will get you rockin' abs. If it doesn’t come naturally to you, it can require a meticulous calculation of intake and expenditure of calories and macro-nutrients. This option can mean a lot of sacrifice. Not just in the kitchen.

To each their own. But before you set the goal of the perfect (insert body part here) think about this. There truly is a difference between being healthy & being a physical specimen. You can be healthy without abs. And you can have abs and not be healthy. I have read many articles and heard many stories of bodybuilders being more unhealthy than ever when they stand on the stage. Malnourished, dehydrated and physically exhausted.

What’s important is how you feel. Are you trucking after your performance/appearance goal but stressed the whole way? Are you focusing so much on eating healthy that it affects your social life? And here’s the tough question...you may not know how to answer this. When you get there...when you have the (insert perfect body part here)...what now?

There’s this thing in life...balance. And we all need it to survive. And the sucky thing about balance...once you have it, you can lose it. Balance takes work. Take a yoga class...practice handstand. Practice any balance pose...hell, stand on one foot right now. You have to focus, and keep working to stay there. Life works the same way. We need a balance of stress & rest to be our healthiest. At the base of it all - this is fact. Physical stress (exercise) vs. physical rest. Mental stimulation vs. relaxation. It is when those get off balance that things will start to feel out of wack.

I have been there...counting every macro-nutrient, measuring every ounce of chicken...and stressing at the end of the day over a few grams over or under somewhere. Was I thin at this time? Yep. I was also a smoker. Was I stressed? Pretty much everyday. Either because I was hungry at 7:30 P.M. but had to find something that had no fat, high protein but low carb (tuna-fish from a can if you’re wondering)...or because I exceeded my allowance for the day somewhere. I had to measure everything and going out with friends became stressful. Even eating at home became stressful...hubby getting tired of eating the same basic meals all the time (because it was too stressful to count every gram AND be creative with recipes…)

I have also been the polar opposite, long before fitness&nutrition were more than an occasional concern of mine. Eating whatever I wanted all of the time. I’m glad those days are gone...but now I work on finding the balance.

I had a goal to have a six pack for the Spartan Sprint race in September of 2013. So I eliminated sugar, dairy and started counting all of my macros. (I was still a smoker at this time - so it was easy to disregard food cravings by going out for a smoke) I didn’t end up with my six pack abs...close, but I definitely lost some weight/inches and size from my body. I also threw all of my hormones out of wack in my body. (This is still something I’m dealing with two years later - and is for another post) Not because I was being unhealthy, but because something was (and still is) out of balance. All of the macro counting and working out was doing no good for my body if I was constantly stressing about it. After my thirtieth birthday my husband and I decided to do a Whole30 challenge. If any of you know what that is...it’s a strict, rules based, whole/natural food, lifestyle reset challenge. It shows something when I say, that the Whole30 challenge gave me more freedom with my food than I ever gave myself. Which led to my own personal lifestyle blog The Whole Fit Yogi.

Sure, you can set a goal and follow it to get a perfect (insert body part here). But if it is constantly stressful...something won’t be in balance.

Stress is good for the body. The resistance of a barbell is good for the body. The pounding of the pavement during a long run is good for the body (and all of this is sometimes really good for the soul). Even a little mental stress is good - to get the wheels turning, thoughts brewing and things moving. But it’s when that stress is heavier than the rest of life that things can go bad.

In any aspect of life, when things you used to enjoy- working out, eating, relationships, work-become more stressful than enjoyable...something has to change. When you stress yourself about getting to the gym because you’ve set yourself up to a standard, you’ve taken the joy out of something that used to make you feel good. And THEN when you get to the gym (after a slight panic, freak out, rush around) and get that workout in...here’s the thing...you’re putting physical stress on an already stressed out mind & body. And the effects of this over time can be detrimental. I have been guilty of this in so many aspects of my life. Scheduling something enjoyable to do, but then stressing because of all the other things that needed to get done. Enjoying a glass of wine and then stressing the next day if I didn’t get to the gym to make up for it.

I feel I am finally snuggling my way into a comfortable place. I still struggle and get rutchy and restless...but I’m getting there. It’s a place of being comfortable and listening to my body. Just like I tell my students in yoga class, it’s about honouring the body. Truly being in tune and present in the body to ensure we don’t injure ourselves or push too far. It’s a place of being able to say ‘I’m just not feeling it today, and that’s okay’ and not feeling like I have to do anything. I still struggle with body image issues, but it’s becoming clear to me in the lessons presented that perhaps my weight gain/body image issues are a direct result of chronic stress on my body to be perfect.

Goals are good. But we need to learn to forgive ourselves for the missed lifts. Forgive yourself for wanting to feed your soul with some delicious dark chocolate and a glass of wine every once in awhile. There’s no such thing as perfect. ‘Perfect’ usually comes with a price. Put your soul first. Your inner light. Feed that what it needs, and the rest will fall into place. Physical beauty fades. But when stripped of the skin, muscle, sinew and bones...how bright is your light? I wanna be surrounded by bright lights. I want to BE a bright light.

I am in no way bashing anyone who is very diligent with their food (I usually am too). These things work for some people, and it’s stress free and makes them feel good. One of the most special things about being here...being ALIVE is that we get to be different. There is not one other ‘you’ in existence. You need to be at peace with yourself, your inner light and then the rest of the shit doesn’t matter. You have got to find what works for you. This is my point. There is no calculation out there that works across the board. Yes, strive to be healthy, move...eat well, but also feed your soul and your spirit. We are all works in progress and that’s the beauty of it, though. If we were all perfect...what kind of journey would it be?

#kori #yogi #yoga #thewholefityogi #whole30