An Open Letter to all the Asshats I’ve Ever Dated:
- Hannah
- Jul 10, 2015
- 3 min read
So I’d like to start by saying that not all of you are asshats, and frankly, the fact that asshat is stored in my computer and doesn’t come up as misspelled amazes me. But back to my point, not all of you are asshats. Those of you who dont’t know exactly who you are, if you are questioning your status as an asshat, then you probably are one. So don’t think too hard, I don’t want you to hurt yourself. Just because y’all hurt me doesn’t mean I want to hurt you back.
I just wanted to start by thanking you all as a whole. I have learned something from each one of you. Some much more than others, most recently (and by recently I mean in the past 3-4 years), I have learned that I cannot let a “man” push me around. I have put quotes around man because a real man wouldn’t push a woman around physically or verbally. I also learned that I cannot allow someone else to bring me down as I have let a few of you do. I learned the warning signs of abuse and how to help others through something I found so hard to leave, but now kick myself everyday for. I also learned exactly what I need and do not need in my life, which would have been hard without all of you.
Now I would like to say thank you to all the non-asshats. You all have been the light in the middle of the tunnel. I would say the end, but I hadn’t gotten to the end of the tunnel until now, with my current significant other. But y’all were the shining lights that were leading me to my North Star. You showed me that not everyone is in it for sex. You also showed me, in between all the asshats, that there are good guys out there. That one day, I would find someone who loves me, someone who cherishes my existence like I cherish theirs. You showed me that I am worth far more than I used to see myself being worth. You helped me through the hard times that asshats put me through, and you helped me keep myself going until I got to this point. The point where I am dating the absolute man of my dreams.
You all lead me to this man who loves me more than I have ever managed to be able to love myself. He has broken down all the walls that you caused me to put up and I have never felt more safe in my life. He is the absolute sweetest man that I have ever met in my whole existence. And I honestly ask myself everyday how I got so lucky. He is an absolute godsend. He is my knight in shining armor, my prince charming, my everything. And I love him more than there are stars in the sky. And without all the asshats and the non-asshats, I wouldn’t have walked through all the steps I needed to find my perfect man.
You all have taught me so much, you have helped shape me into the woman I am today. Although I know that some of it shouldn’t have happened, I cannot change it, nor can any of you. Nor do I think some of you would even if you could. But I refuse to let that effect my day. Like in the song “Broken Road” by Rascal Flatts, “God bless the broken road that lead my straight to you.” Well, you guys are all the broken road that lead me to my current, wonderful boyfriend, so yes, God bless you. God bless you all. To the asshats, I hope God blesses you with someone who can put up with your bullshit, your problems, and/or your lies. And to the non-asshats (the true few, there's only really one of you...), I hope that God blesses you with someone who can truly love you the way you deserve to be loved! All of you deserve happiness, just obviously not the same kind. I hope you find it out there one day. Just sucks to be you that it won’t be with me ;).
Have a nice life, losers!
Sincerely (not) Yours,
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