Why I am Terrified to Get Married

Let me start by saying this: I am so beyond blessed to be with the amazing man God has put into my life, and could not ask for a better person to be marrying soon.

With that aside, I am absolutely terrified to get married in 3 weeks. No, I am not the type of person that is too scared to fully commit to someone, or something, nor am I scared about losing any type of freedom once I get married. I am scared because the odds seem to be against anyone who gets married now and days. With so many different outlets, whether it be websites promoting affairs (which I hope get shut down with this whole hacking thing), various dating apps you can put on your password protected phone, inappropriate emails and text messages, and other forms of communication, society is practically suggesting that you cheat on your spouse, or to disregard the true meaning of marriage (note I said meaning of marriage, and not the definition of marriage. Love is love). Back when I was a kid, divorce was still pretty unpopular, and I only had one other friend whose parents were in the process of separating like my parents were. Social media was not a thing, and you still had to wait 10 minutes for a single Internet page to load. When there were problems in a marriage, people were more apt to want to fix the issues, and not turn to the wrong outlet, thus hindering the marriage even more. Today, if couples have issues in their marriage they barely try to work thing out, they might try a few sessions with a therapist, or try to spend more time discussing their issues. But, ultimately they decide to go their separate ways. What I have found is the most successful married (or unmarried) couples, have positive examples of marriage to look up to. Whether it be their parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles, family friends, etc. They have a couple to look up to and go to in their time of need. Neither my fiancé or I have a prime example of marriage to look up to. My parents divorced when I was 9, and his mom has never been married. Both of my parents remarried, but my dad ended up divorcing again, and my mother is in an awful marriage that is only held together by my 3 year old brother. If anything, my parents’ failed marriages are examples of what not to do. Divorce is an awful thing, it’s spoken against in the Bible, and it does so much damage to everyone involved, especially children. I have grown up Christian and I have always been against divorce, even though it has broken my family beyond repair. I had always promised myself that I would not marry someone who I thought I would end up divorcing, it’s just not in my vocabulary. With all of that said, I am not against divorce if there is abuse, infidelity, or things of that nature involved. I am an avid supporter of getting out of a harmful and damaging relationship. With the statistic being 50% of all marriages result in divorce, I feel like my fiancé and I have a lot against us. In the same light, I guess I am kind of happy I have examples of horrible marriages, because I know what not to do, and how not to handle certain situations. All we can do is hope as much as possible, love with all of our hearts, and pray that God will help us form, and have a loving and happy marriage. I am not blind to the fact that marriages are extremely hard, but I also know that with a lot of effort, we can overcome anything. I am so excited to get married, but I am also weary of becoming just another statistic.

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