How You Know When You've Lost Your 'Person'

I believe I speak on behalf of the majority of women between the ages of seventeen and thirty-five when I say that Grey’s Anatomy may hold some of the best stories of our generation’s televised prime time. Shondra Rhimes is renown for bringing us the always iconic nicknames “McDreamy” and “McSteamy”, as well as teaching all young adults that romance between co-workers, simply does not play out well. But one of the most important lessons we have learned from Sholanda-land is the importance of friendship, as seen between Meredith Grey and Christina Yang. Hence, the “Person” was born.

For those who are unaware of exactly what your person is, it is ultimately the person whom you have achieved the highest level of friendship with. It is someone who is there for you with open arms, no matter the time of day. It is your best friend, the one you can be your ultimate self with; it is the individual who has seen you at your worse; he or she embraces all your flaws and knows exactly what you need during any situation (i.e. a break-up, let go from a job, etc.). He or she is ultimately your other half (no offense to any current significant others).

So I am sure you have read all of the cheesy posts entitled “How you know you’ve found your person, as told by Christina Yang” or “Look at this awesome posts with GIFs of Meredith and Christina having a thirty second dance party and throwing back alcohol because Meredith is yet still unsure of her feelings for McDreamy, and let us know if this is you and your best friend in real life”.

And these posts are great! The pictures that accompany it are great, you always get a good laugh out of it, and you instantly share it with your person on every form of social media known to man, simply for good measure. I’m guilty of doing that exact thing, because, I too, thought it was fantastic, and that I had truly found my best friend. We were so much like Meredith and Christina, he being the emotional yet caring one. While I was the Christina, always telling it like it was.

But something that is never addressed in these fun posts is what do you do when you lose your Person?

It’s an almost devastating thought.

But it does happen. Even Meredith lost her Christina.

In my case, Christina found herself without her Meredith. So what else did she have to do put pick up and re-focus herself? I was incredibly close with my person. He and I had been through what seemed like hell and back; we worked together on top of everything, so we were always pulling each other through both the professional and personal issues that came across our way. There were times where he was dragging me out of my bedroom after a terrible break up, and then there were times I was forcing him to eat when he forgot because he was so overstressed with life. We were a team; we were each other’s Person. Together, he and I made through it a lot of bad situations in recent years.

But then things change. Just like Meredith and Christina, things came up in our lives. And I found myself no longer on the A-team with him. We became a separate entity. He was choosing other people over me in his life, and I felt just like Christina did when Meredith began building her family with Derek. So I did exactly what Christina did. I re-focused upon building and preparing me for my future career. I threw myself into my studies, rarely seeing my friend anymore, or anyone else who was friends with both him and I. It was time to focus on my best interest. Or so, that’s what I told myself.

Although losing my Person was painful, it was a growing period for me. We never fought, things just happened, and I got to see where exactly were I stood as a priority in his life. So the distance just grew, and both of us just refused to acknowledge it to each other.

So what exactly does happen when you lose your Person?

You realize that maybe the “Person” thing doesn’t really exist. But really, you learn to be more careful with who you tell your secrets and thoughts with. You find yourself asking different people for advice, because you simply are not exactly sure how to be a strong decision maker on your own. In the end, you realize that those who were the closest to you, may not always think of you as important to them, as they are to you. It’s a sad thought. You feel alone. But I realized that it really is the quality of those you choose to keep around you, rather than the number. Anyone can have a large group of friends, but ask yourself, how many of these people would fight for you if given the opportunity? That separates the boys from the men, and the girls from the women.

So my advice to those who may have lost their Person as well, is to move on. It’s hard because you are down an individual who felt so much for you. But if that person thought you were so important to them, why was it easy for them to walk away?

But then again, what would I know?

Until next time,

Johnna

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